wanting to be a kid again
Ahoy there!
Pulling into work this morning, I kinda had this envious feeling of my daughter. Being this little kid with no responsibilities, two parents who do just about anything for her, and can kinda do whatever she wants (relatively).
Now, of course I don't want to be a diaper-shitting toddler with 0 emotional regulation. I'm already a pants-shitting adult with 0 emotional regulation. But I do miss that feeling of being a kid.
I guess it's more accurate to say that I miss not having very many responsibilities. I had all the time in the world to do whatever. The also sort of naiveté of the world too. Even growing up during the 08 recession I didn't care nor did I have any clue. I was just happy to be playing Halo 3 after school.
I miss not having to work, I miss not having to deal with dipshit bosses, I miss not having to deal with hour-long commutes. School sucked, but it was a lot better than being in a fuckass job.
There are obvious benefits of being an adult, I still mostly can go do whatever the hell I want. I don't have to beg my parents to buy me a game or CD for Christmas. If I want something, I can, for the most part, just go buy it. I guess I mostly just miss the early-mid 2000s, really. I feel like everyone agrees that things were different back then.
I also just miss feeling the low stakes of everything. My world was largely dictated by two people who cared deeply about me and my well-being, not a bunch of shit-brick boomers who insist on making 2/3 of my conscious time as annoying as possible.
I get glimpses of being a kid again, and it's when I spend time with my daughter. The joy of simple play is at its peak in toddlerhood I think. She loves when we chase each other around the couch, or when we pretend to drink tea together, or pretend to cook on her little playset.
I'm getting a glimpse at what my near future holds with her. Yesterday we spent time playing Super Mario 64 together. While all she did was press buttons seemingly at random, I could see that she is starting to understand how things work. She sees the correlation between the button she presses and the action that happens on the TV. It makes me excited that now she seems to be showing interest in two of my hobbies (gaming and music), which will just mean more quality time for us to bond with.
While I miss my childhood, I am excited to see hers take shape. My childhood is over, but hers is just beginning, and that is good enough for me.
Reply via email: me@absurdpirate.com
as of writing this...
I am at work, bored as hell. I don't want to be here. I am excited to be home for my weekly halo game night. Going to be playing the Halo 3 and Reach betas tonight. Will probably listen to my Fats Domino CD on my way home.